Objectivity v/s Projectivity

Many of the books that I read in childhood had made me confused  for a long time. Born to orthodox family,I some how ended up reading spiritual stuff.
Most of them one or the other way teach that everything is planned. Nature is projective. Everything that happened so far was supposed to happen. Good deeds reap good fruit. Bad deeds reap bad fruit.

These kind of thoughts make one think that nothing is under your control. I pondered these thoughts for a long time.t

I asked myself  "if everything that happened so far was supposed to happen,what f***k  am I doing in this world? Anyways everything is planned"

I also asked myself other way round "if everything that happened so far was not supposed to happen why the f***k did it happen the way it happened?"

Both arguments seemed confusing,unhappy for sometime. Finally I came with conclusion,which I say to myself like this "
Everything that happened so far was supposed to happen and whatever that is going to happen is under my control "



That conclusion may not be logical, but it  makes me happy to think that way